How to be a Dick during the Holiday Season

Authors note: I wrote this last year after the atheist billboard went up in Missouri. However I think we all need a little reminding on how not to be  a dick.

  This post has absolutely nothing to do with the outdoors.  However, it is stuff I have been thinking about a lot and need to get off my chest.  Feel  free to comment here, or on Facebook, but understand that I feel strongly about these things so you will not change my mind any more than I will change yours.  I have never been "politically correct" so if I offend you...so be it.

How to be a Dick During the Holiday Season

1. If you are offended by the phrase " Merry Christmas," you are a dick.  No one means anything negative by it, so if you truly are offended, get over it.  As my friend Brian says, "I'm going to keep saying 'Merry Christmas' because I've never met anyone who was offended."

2. If you are offended by the phrase "Happy Hanukkah," you are a dick.  It's the same thing. I know people who celebrate Hanukkah and I am always happy to wish them the best as they wish me a Merry Christmas.

3. If you verbally correct somebody that says "Happy Holidays" to you, you are a dick.  I'm not talking about close friends and relatives, but at stores and restaurants.  Here are two arguments against doing this to people.

a. First off, the person that just served you coffee or rang up your order just wished you a pleasantry. They went out of their way to be nice to you.  If you lecture them about why it is Merry Christmas, here is what you are doing... You are ruining their holiday spirit.  You made somebody either angry, upset or embarrassed.  What is the point of that?  Secondly, you will not shame them into saying Merry Christmas.  More likely, they will not say anything at all to the next customer.  The next customer will not be wished any "good tidings."  So...don't be a dick.

b. For me, the "holiday season" starts when I buy my food for Thanksgiving.  That is when I truly start to get in the spirit.  I look forward to my Thanksgiving feast.  I check Black Friday deals. Obviously, Christmas morning is the climax of my holidays.  Still, I consider the end of the holidays to be New Years Day.  However, I try to enjoy the entire time from Thanksgiving until New Year's Day.  I enjoy getting the tree; I enjoy Christmas dinner.  I even enjoy buying presents for people, Since I avoid shopping during peak hours, I actually enjoy the "spirit of giving."  I go to LaSallete to look at lights. I make pies and cookies for friends.  Of course, for me, the season certainly revolves around Christmas, but I try to enjoy the whole season.

I know it is "Pollyanna" to think that everyone will have a good Christmas or other holidays.  People will go hungry and some kids will go without gifts.  People will miss loved ones.  Nonetheless, if I say to you "Happy Holidays," I am not being politically correct; I'm hoping you have a good season..

So...DON'T BE A DICK

4. If you are an atheist and you put up a billboard in Missouri at Christmas time... you are a dick.  Do not get me wrong, I get your position.  I do not believe in ghosts and never will...unless I see one. Same as you NOT believing Jesus was the son of a spirit....I get it.  I, myself, am a believer in science.  But the whole point of the billboard was to start controversy and to rile people up.  What was the point of that? Why try to ruin someone else's holiday?  Let people be happy. 

Atheists: Like I said above, I get it.  However Jesus was a good person.  He preached love and peace. I'm not saying at all that you need to worship him.  It does seem to me that he is the type of person that we should all strive to be like...along the the lines of Martin L. King, and Gandhi.

If you really want to do some good, how about you protest Columbus Day?  Columbus was an absolute asshole and a devout Catholic. Columbus did a lot of torturing and murdering, He cut the hands off the hands of natives.  How we can, in good conscience, celebrate a holiday for this low-life is shocking to me.

5. If you are an anti-semetic, you are a dick.  It blows me away that in the 21 century, Jews are still being mistreated.  Here are some facts...

a. Jesus was a Jew

b. Jesus followers were Jews

c. The people crying at Jesus feet while he was on the cross were Jewish

d. Christians and Jews share the same first half of the Bible

I do not understand why so many people hate Jewish people.  I am not talking about Israel.  I do not care that Israel is our biggest ally in the Middle East (it is) or if you think it would get blown off the map if we didn't protect it as its big brother (it would). 

I am strictly talking about Jewish people being victims of hate.  Christians feel Jews are responsible for the death of Jesus.  Sure, a select few Jewish high priests were responsible.  Then again, Jesus had thousands of Jewish followers.  So unless you are 2000 years old and personally knew the people responsible for the crucifixion, then, Mel Gibson...It's time to let it go.  Let's treat people as individuals and not hold grudges against ancestors from five hundred generations ago.

6. You may not realize it, but if you go Christmas shopping on Thanksgiving or go to a movie on Thanksgiving or Christmas, you are a dick.  My boss and my brother may not want me to say that, but it is how I feel.  I believe everyone that can, SHOULD be with family during the holidays.  I understand that medical and emergency personnel have to work.  Other than that, everyone should get to be with family.  I purposely make sure I have enough gas on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving so I do not have to use one of the gas stations that are open.

People working at retail stores are at low paying jobs.  Still, they have no choice...either work during holidays, or risk losing their job.  I contend that being with family should have nothing to do with money.  I feel bad for the Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions for having to play football on Thanksgiving. It is an easier pill to swallow when even the third string rookie back-up is making $50,000 per game, but it is still family time they can't get back.

So, I ask you not to make people work if they do not have to.  If you don't go to a movie on Christmas, they will probably still be open next year, but at least you won't be part of the problem. Don't be a dick.

So their you have it...Six ways to either be a dick or not be a dick this holiday season.  My view is sort of Libertarian.  Do whatever makes you happy as long as it does not interfere with the happiness of others.  Basically be nice to people and treat them with respect.

Lastly, I don't believe there is a "War on Christmas."  There may be a small battle fought with sticks and stones.  Every year there will be some idiot with a billboard or someone wanting a light display taken down.  Do not worry, as long as the people really running this country are still around (corporations and advertisers), Christmas will not be going away anytime soon.  There is too much money in commercializing it.

So in the words of my friend Brian... Merry Christmas.